Who got voted off American Idol 2011 Season 10

Oh dear lord. If I wasn’t so stupid, the world… would probably be a better place. Having said that, last night I was under the impression that American Idol Auditions were headed to ATLANTIS. Now, my Mother informed me, that is an underwater world, or something. So, for anyone who read that, sorry. Our judges are not scuba diving to Atlantis. Instead, Idol went to Los Angeles. W00t w00t. You know, that place where everyone is an “aspiring actor/actress”. I’ve always wanted to go there and just ask everyone I see what they do for a living, and see how many times that comes out of their mouth.

Am I rambling too much? Ah, yeah. But that’s because this episode was so damn boring. But, anyway… here’s my recap of American Idol Auditions in Los Angeles. Go read Liz’s Live Blog and Jebbica’s Recap for more lawls.

ON WITH THE SHOW!
The show started out with them showing off Randy’s AMAZINGLY pimp shoes. If someone knows where I can get a pair of those in purple, let me know. And apparently it’s taboo for Steven to be smoking a cigar on TV… along with J-Lo getting a weggy. Ah, what the lovely way to start it off.

Victoria Garrett | This Long Beach, Calif. telemarketer, resembles Paris Bennett, minus the talent but added with misplaced ambition. She was horrible. And by that I mean, she sounded like a cat that had been ran over, but not killed. Holy Jesus. She didn’t get the ticket to Hollywood. But, no worries love, you’re already there. =D

Tim Halperen | This guy totally out-did Adam Levine when singing “She Will Be Loved”. It reminded me of something current, and something I would actually hear on the radio in the future. I liked him! And so did the judges. Well, maybe not J-Lo, because he made her feel old, by the fact that he’s 23, and said he’s loved her since he was a kid. OOOOOH! Burn. He got the ticket to Hollywood.

Justin Carter | Who thinks he sounded a bit like Bruno Mars? I’m not sure what I feel about him. But nonetheless, he did get a ticket to Hollywood. I’m pree sure he won’t last long. J-Lo seemed to think he “lacked power” and I agree.

Daniel Gomez & Isaac Rodriguez | These lovers, students, BFFL’s…whatever they are, decided to try out together. Just for the support. AWW! Daniel reminded me of Adam Lambert, so that made me happy. I was happy until he started to sing. As the judges said he was TONE DEAF. Holy crap! Then, his buddy, Isaac (who mistakenly dropped out of school to be a Star) sang. He sucked equally as bad as his friend Daniel. His Mom didn’t know he dropped out either, which is funny. Haha. FAIL! Neither one of them made it. I hope that kid went back to school.

Day two is MySpace Auditioners. WTH?! Myspace is ghetto man. We need Tumblr Audtioners.

Karen Rodriguez | I thought this girl was cute. Although I do have to admit, a good brushing of that mop on her head, probably wouldn’t have killed her. She did really good, and the judges loved her. Aww. I hope she makes it to the Top 40.

Tanisha Roches | Apparently this whack job has worked with other artist or something along those lines. I’m still confused with that one… but anyway. Her eyebrows were the worst thing ever, and her bangs went back way too far. I was pretty sure she was going to suck. But, she said she was a STAR, and that’s why, of course, she had her fake microphone… she totally butchered whatever song she sang. As a matter of fact I had no idea what the song even was, she sucked that bad. The judges hated her just as much as I did. But, she wasn’t happy with that, so she preceded to keep singing, and when Randy tried to leave the room, she chased him singing, “You’re Going To Love Me!”. AHHH. Randy, get a Restraining Order. Needless to say she didn’t make it. And I typed way too much on here. OMG! NEXT!

Mr. MSF Matthew Scott Frankel (AKA Big Stats) is a freelance music producer and is a “force to be reckoned with.” | Damn right! I put that as his WHOLE name. Because that’s how he introduced himself. Coincidentally, while American Idol was videotaping his entry, he was “Locking In” Chaka Khan, or something. This freak of freaking nature sang to J-Lo… if singing is what you want to call it. Needless to say he didn’t make it through. For some reason, when I saw him, I was like, “This is Justin Bieber in the future.”

Mark Gutierrez & Aaron Guitierrez | These brothers duet “Lean on Me.” Aaron was better than Mark. But, Mark was cuter. I doubt they’ll last long, but that’s okay.

Human Tornado Cooper Robinson | Obviously this is another “Pants on the Ground” Larry Platt guy. “I’m from Arkansas and I plan to take your city from you,” he said. He moshed to the sound of his own delusions, and didn’t get the ticket. I think with a little autotune this guy could have done great things.

Next week is San Francisco! I hope I got that right. SAVE US SF. Jesus.

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