Who got voted off American Idol 2011 Season 10

Tonight we see the Orlando auditions. I hope this round proves more entertaining than last night’s Chicago auditions, faithfully blogged by Cait and Jebbica.

It’s me, Lizaio, with you, and I’m ready to hear about dreams that come true.

We get to hear references to the drunken times all the judges have together in downtime, and we discover that this week’s guest judge is Kristin Chenoweth, and I’m stoked, because I love her.  We don’t get any scenes of body shots or crazy karaoke, but we know they happened.  I bet Seacrest is a karaoke fiend.

First we get a fella that’s got mirrors taped all over his face.  He also has a cape, and a feather affixed to the side of his head.  Yes, Theo (in his skintight jeans and spray-painted hair) sings Heartbreaker by my homegirl Pat Benatar.  Kara mocks him with her “woos” and asks him if he feels good.  Kara tells him he smells nice, and pities him openly.  I really can’t stand her.  She makes everything worse.

Lucky for Theo, he has an “assistant,” yet he walks out of the audition distraught.  His birthday is tomorrow, so happy birthday, Theo.  Ryan gets hit with glitter, which I hear is the herpes of craft supplies.

It kills me that Kristin and Kara are getting on so well.  Can’t Kristin see that she’s evil?

Contestant Seth Rollins has an autistic son, and he’s very open and sorta tearful about it, which is understandable.  He then goes into the whole idea that a music career will provide what his son needs – and I have a whole other theory about that, which I’ll tell you about some other time.  He sings a classic standard.  He’s a little pitchy, but he has a nice tone and is all plaintive and sincere when he sings.  They let him go on for quite a while.  Kristin liked him, and Kara readily agreed whilst going a bit cross-eyed.  Welcome to Hollywood, Seth!

I’m sitting here watching a local Toyota commercial, and I am pondering what ridiculousness this purported drama will reveal.  Ryan said it was the “most dramatic audition ever” or something like that, and it looks like some dude gets arrested.  Will it be interesting, or will it be a cheap distraction from the fact that they have a poor turnout this year and therefore less interesting auditions to show us?  Or is that even true?  Come on, Fans, tell me what you think?

We get a montage of people begging to be put through to Hollywood.  I don’t get that, because if they didn’t think I was ready I’d be pretty sure they wouldn’t like me any better when I was singing with people I hated at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Jermaine Purifoy sang directly into my soul.  Kristin loved the purity of Jermaine’s voice.  Randy loved his audition the best of any this season.  Kara said something, I zoned out.  Simon thought it was a great choice of song – “Smile” by Tony Bennett.

Shelby Dressel sang Norah Jones.  She was very nervous.  She is a pretty girl with a little bit of insecurity about some nerve thingy that makes one side of her face not work.  She sang alright, but I’m not jumping around or anything.

The numbers are a little better than yesterday.  19 people made it through the first day of the Orlando auditions.  On to Day 2?

Day 2 had us Kristin-less, and starting off with Jay Stone.  He beatboxes much like Blake Whatshisname (Lewis), but more, and worse.  He gets very red-faced while doing so.  Then he breaks out a little Bill Withers, and I start to love him a little.  Kara and Randy are beatboxing like whoa.  Kara wants him.  Simon doesn’t.  Randy hedges, then puts him through.  Ryan gets manhandled.  A normal day in Orlando.

Kasi Bedford and a bunch of other girls sing pretty OK.

Next comes a guy who learned to dance from Strippers.  Cornelius Edwards calls “Proud Mary,” “Rollin,” and then his pants done ripped.  “Pants Ripped” Edwards actually makes it through, and is officially this year’s Norman Gentle, but less classy and less talented.  We’re obviously lacking enough valid contestants this year.

Bernadette and Amanda Desimone are two shined-up Jersey Girls and they perform all day together.  Bernadette sings “Hit the Road Jack,” and Amanda sings “I Want to Dance With Somebody” while her sister dances encouragement at her.  Randy hedges (big surprise), and Kara thinks they would bring “something” to Hollywood.  Bernadette says “the show needs us” and I think she’s right.  Who cares, right?  Randy and Kara say yes.  Simon states a preference for Bernadette, put they both go through.

Jarrod Norrell is next and he’s the guy who’s been shown in handcuffs, so we know this can’t end well.  First of all, he sings like he uses a bug zapper as a pitch pipe, or like there is a kazoo present.  Kara is mesmerized by the fact that Jarrod thinks he is a good singer.  Simon dismisses him quickly, and Jarrod is “trippin” and wants to sing one more song…which is the song he just sang.  It’s painful and depressing, and makes me want to go outside and take a long, cleansing walk in the fresh night air, away from electricity and anything that brings this hateful scene to mind.  Security intervenes, because Jarrod isn’t going anywhere.  He’s fighting for this show.  I wonder if he was really that awful (because that guy yesterday was pretty bad) or if they just needed someone to get arrested, right before the story about the ex-con.  Oh Me!  I’m so cynical.  Shame on me.

Matt Lawrence is 25 and from Florida.  He has an adventurous soul, and peaced out early.  He robbed a bank with a bb gun when he was 15 and was “locked up” for 4 years.  Was that in juvey?  He’s looking for redemption in the form of American Idol fame.  He has a big ol voice, and he sang on key.  I’m curious as to what they can do with him if he’s given the chance.  What am I, a sap?  Do I want him to find Idol-y Redemption?  I think I do.  Simon says that Matt can really sing, and that he could have WRITTEN that song.  It was AUTHENTIC, which is obviously the word of the season.

authentic.

I liked Matt.  I might be a fan.

That’s it for the Orlando auditions.  31 people total made it through.  Next week we’re in LA for some uber-spectacular stuff happens.  Guest judges Katy Perry and Avril Lavrigne.  Why?  And with kitty ears?  Really?

See ya, love ya, bye!

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