Who got voted off American Idol 2011 Season 10

Hi Folks.  I’m Elizabeth and I’ll be your host for a portion of this season’s American Idol.  I’m stoked that the show is back, and curious to see how Ellen mixes in with the rest of our judges.  I’m not a huge fan of Kara’s, so I sort of hope that Ellen pals around with Simon.  Bummed about Simon leaving, too.  Say it isn’t so, Simon!

It’s T-minus NOW for the season premiere.  Here we go!  I’ll be right here with you for this whole 2 hours.

Dave Pitman could be the next American Idol.  A school bus driver could be the next American Idol.  Three dippy blonde triplets could be the next American Idol.

Boston first.  9000 people showed up and stood in the rain for hours to audition.  Some people took their shirts off.  It was a thing.  Tiaras and floaty wings optional.

We have Posh Spice as our first guest judge.  She has some crazy lace headband on and looks like she weighs about 50 pounds.  Seriously.  I wish she’d stop gesturing with her arms as I’m afraid they will snap off.   The first contestant doesn’t seem too promising.  She’s been getting ready by playing the American Idol video game and jumping up and down a lot.  Let’s see how she sounds.

Oh no.  Oh heck no.  This type of thing makes me really really sad.  Plus, bare midriff?  Really?  Randy is cackling like a madman and the contestant just called Kara Paula.  Next!

Okay. We’re back. Maddie Curtis is only 16 and she’s #9 of 12 kids. Zounds. That’s a lotta Curtises. This kid already made me cry and she hasn’t even sung yet. She’s adorable. I hope she doesn’t suck. She’s going to sing some Leonard Cohen. I can’t decide if she’s a good singer or if I like her because of the story they told about her. That’s the problem with giving us a backstory. She’s got a nice voice, like Simon says, but I don’t know if she’s Idol material. I like her. I’d like to see what else she can do. They’ll let her through.

I called it. 4 “yeses.” Rock on, Maddie. Or is it Maddy?

Did Kara just hit on Posh Spice?

Pat Ford from New Hampshire is up next. He wants to “Holler.” I don’t approve. Yeah. He’s awful. Next, please. And he thinks he did awesome. And he called Simon “Sassy Simon” which I’m sure won’t go over at all. He gets some Kara hugs, and he’s on his way. Simon divulged that he used to eat lunches alone. Poor, poor Simon. Jennifer Hirsh did some neat little Ella Fitzgerald stuff.

Claire something, Jess Wolfe from Brooklyn got all four judges on her side – all girls by noon. We’re promised some guy talent after the break. We shall see.

OK. We’re back. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE this first guy. He has an adorable accent, and he’s got dreamy curly hair. Plus, how awesome is the name Amadeo DeRocco? I hope he’s good. I really do. OK. I love him. I do. He was also Simon’s favorite audition of the day so far. When he came out to tell his family of enormous Italian men the good news it was like a big Italian Man Celebration – which sort of goes back to my top ten list of awesome things. When I was in third grade I wrote a paper on how I wanted to be Italian when I grew up.

I have the strong feeling that this next guy, Derek Hilton, might be a tool. Yep. Definitely a tool. He likes the way Chris Brown touches kids all over the world. Wonder if he knows that Crhis Brown touched Rhianna into the hospital. He then preceded to sing in multiple accents directly through his nose. This was sad and annoying at the same time. He “gradutated” and “hit really loud notes.”

I HATE it when they cry. Also, that chick with the fivehead took it really hard.

I guess the Beantown Stalker is next. He’s complained about the wait, and apparently he faces off with Kara later. Ooh. But first we get the Anime freak who brought some of her handmade kimonos with her to the audition. She wants to be “big in Japan.” Just use this audition tape, Sweetie. They love weird stuff in Japan. Although I seriously doubt that they love that craptackular Janis Joplin impression. How is it possible that she can sing that poorly and then argue that she MUST be a good singer simply because she THINKS SHE OUGHT TO BE a good singer? And she’s crying. That’s awful. 14 years of training should have yielded better results. Truth.

This guy in the toboggan might be OK. Benjamin Bright hit a bad note, but is otherwise adorable. Both made it through. They’re about to tell us a sad story about Andrew/Beantown Stalker/Clark Kent-in-training Fenlon. He’s a little odd and offputting, and (shock) he’s single. He’s actually kinda cute, but certainly odd and offputting. He has a terrible attitude and is pretty confrontational. Simon called him a smartass. I think this guy is hilarious. Are all four judges currently getting Punk’d? Andrew sings like he’s listened to far too many Richard Cheese albums. Kara is preaching at him and told him she didn’t like him AT ALL. They’re all currently scolding him. He is arguing his case. I think he got a little bit of a bad rap. Simon said he would have said yes. I think Simon ended up liking the guy. I can’t stand Kara. I’m sorry. Now Kara said this contestant needed a spanking. Seriously. Norman Gentle made it through and this guy didn’t?

Was just discussing it with the Illustrious Potentate, and he thinks the last guy was a plant. Lends credence to my “Punk’d” theory…

And we’re back to the show. Bill Bloom of the green tognue didn’t do so great. Michael Ryan of the musical theater background actually made The Hubs snarf his beer.

Ashley Rodriguez, however, did not disappoint. She chose one of the hardest songs EVER to sing, and she did pretty good. Kara was a leeeetle bit too enthusiastic, but I liked her. Posh went a little overboard, too. Ashley will either kick a lot of ass in Hollywood, or she’ll be that one that chokes and they say “but we loved you at your audition.” Or, she might win the whole darn thing.

This next guy fell out of a tree. Tyler Grady has a surprisingly smoky tone to his voice, since he looks like he stepped out of Dazed and Confused. I’m very surprised. I liked him. Everybody liked him. Yay Tyler. Randy started his repeating thing, “Tyler made it POP!”

So we picked up 17 people in Boston. The next 56 minutes will cover Day 2. And so will I.

There’s some judge crap going on, and now Ryan Seacrest is giving us a history lesson. I guess that’s good. Yeah. It’s a good use of time.

Lisa Olivero is up next. She’s a waitress and has a wicked Boston accent. She’s invoking the Mariah and it’s…oh…oh no…well? Nope. It’s a train wreck. Sorry Lisa. I wish we didn’t have to watch the feedback part. I hope she doesn’t go out and cry. And why does the camera keep focusing on the poor girl’s hindquarters? Come on, guys!

NO way. Someone wore a king outfit.

It wasn’t Mike Davis. Mike Davis has a winning smile and sparkly eyes, and he loves his job. He’s singing Beatles, so he’d better be good. He has a nice tone, but the notes aren’t quite right. Will the judges care?
…Kara wants to “hang out” with Mike. Kara. Mike asked if Kara wanted to “get some steak sometime.” You figure it out. Simon and Randy both just peaced out for some reason and are just leaving it up to Kara and Posh, who are obviously going to say yes.

Katie Stevens. 16 Years Old, friend to her Portuguese grandma with Alzheimer’s. She’s precious. I’m emotionally invested. And she can sing Etta James?!?! We have a winner, folks! 2010 belongs to Katie Stevens!!!

Joshua Blaylock is a 28-year-old dude with an OK voice. Simon didn’t think he had presence, power, etc. They’re trying to get him to be assertive by telling Simon to shut up. Randy wants him to sing Spandau Ballet. He made it through. Hopefully he’ll get some confidence.

So I’m sitting here wondering – how do you choose what to tell about yourself at these auditions? I mean, the guy who had cancer – does he go around telling everybody that he had cancer, or did someone advise him that it might give him an edge at his American Idol audition? I hope it’s not the latter, because that would be crappy.

So I’m at this weird point in my life where it hurts my heart to laugh at the terrible singers, but that guy that sang “All By Myself” made me giggle. He just looked like someone put an ice cube down his shorts.

So back to Justin Williams, the dude that had cancer. He doesn’t have cancer anymore, and he didn’t tell us what kind of cancer he had. He is singing the Buble, and he is doing a really kind of good job. I kinda love him. I think we’ll see a lot of him. He’s, like, the Gokey of 2010. Tragic backstory, vocal coach, cute humble attitude. Gokey Part Duex. Gokier.

Crap. I want a Reese’s.

Oh what is this. Norberto Guerrero. Unfortunate hairdo. Unfortunate facial hair. Unfortunate sequined vest. Most unfortunate vocals. Fingerless. Motorcycle. Gloves. Big Elizabeth Taylor-ish diamond earrings. Randy is punchy at this point, Simon is over it, and it’s a no for Norberto.

The next guy is from a big family and seems like a sweetie. Bosa Mora IS a sweetie. He said he wanted his love of music to shine through and I think it does. After some judge nonsense Bosa makes it through. He’s immensely likable. His mom has a big orange hat.

Leah Lorenti is 22 and from New York. She’s going against the grain by pursuing a career in music. She has a lovely voice and it has some cool tone and flavor to it. She’s a pick. Randy likes her. Kara likes her. Victoria Beckham says yes. Simon says yes. She’s through.

That makes a total of 31 Hollywood-bound 16-29 year-olds from the Boston batch. Tomorrow night we’ll see the contestants from Atlanta. Tune in here.

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