American Idol Fan Site | Who got voted off American Idol

Seacrest opens the show from the heart of Manhattan - Times Square. Idol has not held auditions in NYC since Season 3 – so there’s a lot of anticipation for an unusual (and hopefully talented) group of contestants. An Idol from the Big Apple would be an invigorating change from the ongoing Southern monopoly.

Carole Bayer Sager, the guest judge, looks remarkably like Joan Collins. She penned a few cheesy love songs like “Groovy Kind of Love” and “That’s What Friends are For” and was married to Bert Bacharach. That makes her a judge of talent?

Auditions begin with the ultimate “New York-ah” Ian Bernado — a flamboyant individual wearing a sweat headband and a self-aggrandizing “Ian Bernado” t-shirt. I recognized him immediately from the “So You Think You Can Dance” auditions, so I wasn’t surprised that he was trying to grab some Idol screen time. Ian is scary – more delusional than most Idol contestants, which is a tall order. At first glance, it appears he is carrying a dead squirrel – but we soon learn it’s chinchilla. Ian wore the chinchilla stole to show “the world how wealthy he CAN be.” Self described superstar, dancer and singer, Ian delivers a verbal rendering of Laura Brannigan’s “Gloria”. None of the judges are impressed, but at least (one of) his therapists believe in him. Simon dismisses him as “hammy” and “rubbish” and Ian questioned the existence of Simon’s work Visa. Ian says that he is calling National Geographic to report a rare sighting of a Dodo Bird – Simon Cowell. See you on Coffee Tahk, Ian.

Sarah Burgess, 19, hails from Ohio and begins crying, telling the camera that her parents don’t believe in her dreams. It’s a Kellie Pickler tale, but without the fun clip at Sonic where Kellie spills soda on a mini van.  Sarah launches right into Blondie’s “Call Me” and her tears disappear miraculously. Simon called her a “trier”? Randy made an elephant trunk noise. Sarah’s tears started up again. If the singing doesn’t work, there’s always the casting show on the Soap Network. When Sarah called her father to tell him that she made it into Hollywood he said “Who is this?” — even AFTER she called him Dad. Maybe she does have a reason to cry. Anyhow, it all came across as fake. Gold Ticket Recipient!

Next, we meet Constantine’s female counterpart, a Greek singer and dancer who wants to bring an “ethnic melodic pop rock sound” to Idol. For her song, she begins to “bless the rains down in Africa” and makes that Toto song sound even worse than it did when it first hit the charts. Her name is Fania Tsakalakos and she reminds me of my crazy 3rd grade art teacher who made us paint with our eyelashes. Simon says she’s appalling.

28 year old Ashanti Johnson will be familiar to many Idol buffs. She was sent to Hollywood twice and was sent home twice. She tells us she has been eating veggies and protein 6 times a day to prepare for Idol. She sings “Loving You”. Simon says she’s too cabaret. Ashanti tells us all how hard she has fought and how she has struggled with her weight, and continues on with the same soap opera script Sarah Burgess left behind.  Why do all of these Idol people believe that they have struggled harder than anyone else ever has in the history of the Universe?                             

Next in we get the obligatory hot chick pair, though this time they’re not twins. They are simply BFFs. We learn that they love to shop and they do an excellent Baywatch jog on the beach.                                                                                                                                                   
Amanda Coluccio (the short blond) goes first. She is 19 and sings “Crazy” by Patsy Cline. I was bored. So was Simon. Randy thought she was pretty good. Paula said yes. Golden Ticket based on looks and the BFF story mostly.
                                                       
Best friend Antonella Barba is also 19 and looks like Cindy Crawford without the mole. I think she is lifeless. The panel agrees that she is beautiful and better than her friend. Simon offers her some advice in regard to going forward with her best friend throughout the competition: “When someone is down on the floor kick them…” Niiiiiice. Golden Ticket Recipient.

(Possible foreshadowing? Ryan suggests their friendship might hit some bumps in Hollywood…)

Next we see an “average Joe” playing a squeaky harmonica and making a cacophony of beeping noises. Clifton Biddle, 24, works at a bank which he says feels like a reality show. After he stomps his way through a ZZ Top tune, he whips out his harmonica and plays some manic number. Bye Clifton. He says he was shot down “like an F150”.

Phillip Burton, 18, is next and all I can remember is that he has a huge mouth – I mean, it’s a cavern of unknown depths.

A dude in a Spacesuit passes through…then Jose with green hair….and William Van Stone as this season’s He/ She.  Indescribable.

The day ends with Kia Thornton, 27, who comes in with a big voice. Sings “Ain’t no Way” by Aretha Franklin. Simon says it’s the best audition of the day. Carol tells her to stay with the melody and her heart – show vulnerability and not too much power voice. Paula says people will crumble and melt like warm cookies.
Kia appears humble, sweet and grateful, but so did McPhee in her audition. At the other side of the door, no one was there to hug Kia, weep with her, and skip away with her – unlike McPhee whose McMom was there with open arms and the river of tears that flowed throughout the next 15 weeks. Please no McParents this season? That’s all I ask. GOLD TICKET.

 

DAY TWO  in NYC opens with 16 year old Jenry Bejarano, a handsome teen with a beautiful face, almost chiseled from stone. He sings “I’d Give Anything to Fall in Love” by Gerald Lavert. He stayed on the melody – no showboating. Seems mature and confident but could get cocky. Randy tells him to stay humble. Good advice, although American idols and humility don’t seem to coexist past week 4.  Golden ticket recipient.

Next we have hyper (obnoxious) 24 year old Nakia “Little Shirley” Claiborne who dances Beyonce-style in the waiting room, her jeri curl flying. She said Idols need guts and gusto. She looks like a munchkin with jack o’ lantern teeth and believes she is going to H-Wood. Nakia breaks into “Dancing in the Streets” which gets the panel moving. However, when they ask her to sing something more on a melody and without the hyperactivity, she is horrid. Totally off pitch. Paula tells her she needs a lot of work. She leaves her mouth permanently open, which draws attention to the pumpkin smile - which disappears when they all pass on her. She leaves the room, depleted of her signature gusto. She tells the camera she is tired of hearing no…and not just with singing. All I have to say is thank goodness Simon wasn’t here for this one.

Sarah Goldberg, 20, is a total wackadoo with a red cowboy hat, a horrid voice, serial killer eyes and a cartoon voice. 
Even though she has entered a singing competition, Sarah says “I am not a singer.” This is when it gets MUCH weirder. Sarah wants them to teach her how to sing and doesn’t think an American Idol needs to sing. In fact, she wants to be the one American Idol who doesn’t sing. When asked to leave, she resorts to Breakdown City. If you see this girl, cross to the other side of street. Completely unstable.

Antonio Torres Jr., who looks not a day short of 50, tapped his shoe the entire time to his own rendition of “New Yor, New Yor”. Where did he hide the “K”?
Jory Steinberg of California tells the camera that she has met a vast number of global royalty. She is 25 and grew up in Canada. She sings “Chains”  – and for the first time this auditioning season, I think they have found someone special. Simon says she was on the money. When she came out with her Golden Ticket, her mom was on floor. Yipppee! Finally someone GREAT! Hopefully she has no police record.

Next we see the “American Idol soldier”. While the Rocky theme song plays in the background, we learn she has lost 20 pounds and has done a lot of jump roping in the past year. 27 year old Porcelana Portino talks about how she has trained her body for this day. After one year of daily training, she has settled on a Mary J. Blige song, 50 bracelets, a belly shirt, (very) low rider jeans, orange frizzy hair and strange facial expressions.  Joan Collins says she is “unique” and says yes.  Golden Ticket recipient.
George Michael. Simon Cowell. Christopher Henry. What do they all have in common? Not much. But 20 year old Massachusetts native Christopher Henry thinks they all look alike. Like Simon, he is diminutive with scads of visible chest hair. Oddly, he sings a Kelly Clarkson song and sounds like a woman. Simon tells him to sing in stilettos. Jimmy Choo or Bally, his voice pierces my ear drums. One word – Drag.

Braces, rainbow mirrored sunglasses, and skipping Opera School, welcome 18 year old Rachel Zevita. She blows a kiss to the camera and I notice she has a dream catcher actually hanging from her braid. Rachel describes herself as a singer, songwriter and rockstar.  Unfortunately, even after a mediocre and strange audition, this precocious Rainbow Brite is coming to Hollywood. Golden Ticket.

After Rachel and Rocky, I am waiting for someone to come along who actually deserves a golden ticket. Enter Christopher Richardson, 22, from Virginia. A nice looking kid in “the guy next door” kind of way sings “A Song for You”, a song made Idolworthy by last year’s Elliott Yamin. Randy compares him to Timberlake (huh?) and Paula says he is special. He deserves his ticket and I hope he can impress in Hollywood week. His parents are really excited and they seem like nice, normal people. Golden Ticket!
The next contestant is certainly familiar. Nick Pedro, 25, made it to Hollywood last season and bailed out during the Group Rounds because – get this – he couldn’t remember the words to BUTTERCUP!  He tells us he has been haunted by the experience and he is taking his singing seriously and is pursuing it as a full time career. Nick turns in a nice audition, singing “Fly Me to the Moon”, and gets yes across the board. Golden Ticket.
Next up is the piece de resistance — the one contestant Idol teases us with throughout the two hours, showing several clips of horror before actually revealing the audition. From last year there was Tessie Mae Reid and Rhonetta. Now we have “Isadora”  - she claims she reads palms “for a living” and that she sounds like Stevie Nicks and Led Zepplin(?).  There are weird exercises, strange facial expressions, a silver foil cowboy hat and a tambourine. Isadora Furman terrifies me. I would never want to enter her living space. Shrunken heads in mayo jars and apparently no bras. Come to think of it, lots of “girls” have been flying free this season.  She sings “Lady Marmalade” and the groove builds and climaxes into a clogging, moaning frenzy which threatens to lead into “Take Another Piece of My Heart”. No one wants to “Couchez avec Vous” Isadora, or take a piece of your anything. The audition ends with strange furtive glances from Isadora and catatonic glazed-over stares form the judges.

Thirty five actually got through from New York. Are auditions almost over – please?

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