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 Taylor  Vs Katharine

 The Battle of the “Dunk Dad, Soul Patrol, Bad Karaoke Singer” Taylor vs the “LA Princess, No I am Not Pregnant, No I am not a Scientologist, Opps Wardrobe Malfunction” Katharine

Welcome Fight fans to the American Idol Celebrity Sing Off contest and World Championship Endorsements by aging singer and celebrities.  This is Ryan Secreast reporting live from Outside the Kodak theather for this celebrity showdown. 

Let’s meet the Judges, First there is “Yo Dog” Randy “Ebonics” Jackson,

Randy -”Yo SeaBiscut, We gonna have a hot one tonight! I got my tabasco out cause this will be finger lickin’ good”

Next is Paula “Kleenex’s” Abdul -
- ” Taylor I love you, Your Soul just hits me in my Left Breast, wanna see it?”

Seacrest- Umm Paula.. Next we have everyone’s favorite villain Simon ” Cha – Ching” Cowell.

- Simon, ” Paula, if we wanted to see your boobie, we could just look at the Plastic surgeons after shots”, ” Anyway it’s Taylor’s ball game unless Katharine goes something extraordinary this evening”.

Well it’s time for the tale of the tape:
Taylor Hicks, Age 29, Secret weapon Grey Hair, and a powerful harmonica. Taylor has the advantage of Age going into this bout. He might pull out the Spit Harmonica and just blow Katharine away.

Katharine Mcphee, Age 20-something, Low cut dresses, killer legs, and A slip knot dress, just in case.  Katharine is in for a tough battle tonight but don’t count out her sexuality, it could pop out at anytime!

Let’s get Ready to RUMMMMMBLE! The two contests touch gloves and come out singing

Taylor Hicks volleys the first blow to Katharine by belting out a few lines of “under the rainbow”, this staggers Kat against the ropes by stealing her opening move.  Taylor lets loose a combination of “Georgia on my mind” and “Levon” that seems to take all the wind out of Katharine.  This could be over her in the first round.

Katharine staggers after that opening montage, but regains her stride.  She loosens the spaghetti straps on her dress and lets Taylor have it with upper cut of “Hit me with your best shot”.  Kat follows with a Right “Christopher Cross” “Sailing” that has Taylor Swooning. 

Ding end of Round One.

Round Two- Katharine enters round two by removing the dress and wearing a pink polka dot bikini. She has stunned Taylor and the audience and judges alike.  Opps she forgot the words to her song and Taylor recovers with ” A Little Help from my Friends”. The beatle power seems to get Taylor’s Footwork going as she Ali Shuffles around the ring.  His attempt at a Rope-a-dope has Katharine confused. A Blond moment even for the Brown eyed girl, as she can only manage a “Row row row your boat” lyrical retort.

Taylor sensing a potential TKO pulls out the Harmonica to finish off Kat. Kat expecting the move performs a double axle lutz back flip judo Kata with a 4.3 degree of difficulty score and nails Taylor in the stomach. 
OMG, Taylor swallowed the Harmonica, this could be a definite advantage for Kat.

Ding End of round two, Taylor Saved by the Bell.

Round three.  Kat wanting the victory unleashing some Elvis, while Taylor Counters with Joe Jackson, and Joe Cocker.  Kat stunned falls to the carpet, but recovers and sings “California Dreaming”.  Taylor manages one more salvo of lyrical and dance moves with a resounding rendition of AC/DC “Back in Black”.  Kat is stunned by the Rock move and remains on the ground stunned.

Ding the end of Round three and this one goes to the judges.

Randy, “Wow Dog, It’s too close to call, Nice legs Kat”
Paula, ” Can’t we all just get along”
Simon, ” Well American their is a clear cut winner, but Dial anyway we have an deal with the phone companies and I make a % of every call. Cha – Ching.”

Ryan Secrest, Remember to vote American.  Your Call will determine the winner.  1-866-Idols 01  through 100.  Just vote and the producers will decide who they want to win as always. See you tomorrow night for the pre-determined winner announcements.

American Idol Fan

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