It’s me, Lizaio, here to bring you the unadulterated live blog of the Los Angeles auditions, brought you by Fox, replayed for your pleasure. Sit back, and enjoy this Idoly goodness with me.
I have to tell you. It’s going to be hard, percentage wise, to top last night’s Austin auditions. A LOT of people made it to Hollywood. Many of them that we have good authority on that make it through to the Top 40.
Randy has gold shoes. That is all.
Victoria Garrett believes that God brought American Idol auditions to LA for a purpose. That might have something to do with the fact that LA holds many, many wannabe stars. Victoria squeaked through her audition, and made everybody laugh (which is so mean, but funny) and they tell her no. I think that the producers must have told Randy that he has to play the heavy, because he’s been a LOT meaner this season. Dontcha think? Victoria makes some disparaging comments about J-Lo’s singing talent. Burn.
Tim Halperin is up next, and he does some Maroon 5 and smiles all the damn way through the audition. That must count for something, added to the fact that he has an pretty OK voice. Randy comments that Tim sang straight to Jennifer, and Tim confirms that he had a crush on Jennifer “growing up” when he was in 5th for 6th grade, and he makes the ultimate faux pas to ask a lady her age. Steven says he needs to work on his voice. But he says yes. Randy says he needs to work on who he is. He says no. Jennifer cusses at Randy, but says Tim has a nice tone. She says yes.
Daniel Gomez is seriously underwhelming, despite his inflated sense of talent. Steven points out that Daniel is really far from the melody line. Randy says he’s tone deaf. It’s a no for Daniel.
Daniel’s buddy Isaac Rodriguez does Build Me Up Buttercup, and though he dropped out of college to follow his dream, it turns out this was ill-advised. I haven’t even heard the judges and I think so. Jennifer says he has a nice smile, but the judges are unanimous in telling him no. He’s going to keep trying, but Randy says that neither Daniel nor Isaac should pursue singing. These guys are completely delusional.
Aaaaannnnddd, we’re back. I think we’re already on Day 2? Crazy. These are the myspace.com auditioners. New York native Karen Rodriguez sings for the judges and they like her. Karen says she admires Jennifer Lopez, which is impressive because she has this babushka thing on her head. Just kidding. She’s still pretty with that babushka thing on her head. Karen makes it through.
Tynisha Roberts has had the pleasure of meeting other artistses (sic), but she walks in with her own mic which isn’t on. She’s doing a tribute to Sinatra but she botches it up a whole bunch. I feel angry at her. Very angry. She’s one of those that just keeps on singing when they don’t want her to. I’m not gonna love her. She sings all the way out of the audition area. Then she comes back. This is a total waste of time.
Ima going to start carrying an unplugged microphone and a rolling blue suitcase with me. Just ’cause.
Toilet paper is still not sexy.
Cash in on your thoughts on the Bieber movie, why don’t you?
We start off after the break with Steven Tyler providing some sound effects to a tight-pants-wearing girl named Heidi Kzahm dancing. Turns out she’s a better dancer than a singer, but they put her through ANYWAY which is STUPID.
Matt Scott Frankel does some record producing? For Chaka Kahan? I think he might be a tool. His alter ego is “Big Stats”. He says not to underestimate him. I’m currently in the process of underestimating him. Turns out I was right. I’m ALWAYS right. He got a compilation album. Whatever. He sings. It’s not good. His grammar is downright embarrassing. He gets a little teary. He begs. I’m bored. This isn’t the last we’ve heard of…what’s his name? Oh yeah. Whatever. He’s punch-worthy. He speculates about Randy’s Jacksonless Jacksoness. He’s what? Yep. A TOOL.
William Roberts caterwauls his way through an audition, giving us no further hope for the LA auditions. Jeannette Manning is wearing a DENIM TUBE DRESS and sucks. Daniel Hall is a theater geek gone wrong. Arista Pemberton – it’s just not worth talking about. LA sucks.
A couple of brothers might make this adventure worthwhile. Mark and Aaron Guiterrez are rocking the scarves, and do that dancing in each others face thing, but maybe they’ll be good. They’re actually pretty good. They did a duet of “Lean on Me” and it was so not sucky compared to all the other crap that’s happened in the LA auditions. They make it through to Hollywood. Both of ‘em.
I think we’re about to have the “Pants on the Ground” portion of this season.
Cooper Robinson is from Arkansas, ten miles up a dirt road, deep into the woods. He thinks he might be 59. He feels good. He’s singing about it. He has bells on his boots. I approve of that, but no other part of this audition. He wants to take on that studio. I think he’s drunk. If he’s not, I can’t explain his behavior. He’d probably be a liability at parties. he gets a no, and the LA auditions end with a whimper.
This is how the LA auditions end…not with a bang…but with a whimper.
To sum up. Jennifer Lopez wore a babushka scarf, and Cooper Robinson is going to be in your kitchen and your car. lame. Gee Raff. Feeling it.
Next week, San Fransisco auditions that HAVE to be better than these. This sucked. Lizaio out.
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41 responses so far ↓
1 Idol-Mania-Eric // Feb 3, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Look it’ Liz
2 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Yup Randy Jackson is being the heavy
3 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:10 pm
Tim Halperin Makes it into the top 40 – spoiler rummors
4 margie mcbride // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:20 pm
Build me up buttercup….there’s always miracles but those guys are delusional.
5 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Karen Rodriguez top 40 spoiler
6 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Please tell me that there is a 7′ armadillo in tonight’s show. That seems to have been the only highlight in last nights show.
7 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:26 pm
It is hard for me to understand how some of these people that cannot even carry a tune in a bucket think they are good enough to be the next American Idol. How embarassing!
8 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:27 pm
bye Jersey Girl wannabe- at least know the words to the song you are attempting to screech
9 margie mcbride // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Randy is the meanie this year….holy cow Tynesia needs to put her mike up waiting to be composed. What’s up w/ J Lo’s head gear?
10 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:30 pm
, those are some of the same people that cry & cuss when they get told no. Like it shocked them to find out they stink.
11 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:32 pm
I want to be the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL… Judge
12 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:33 pm
I thought maybe they would offer that spot to Cait…I only have a face for radio.
13 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:35 pm
, I know, right!?! Tynisha has a whole album ready to be composed! WTH!
14 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Melissa, maybe Eric has an idea. Idol could come to this blog & pick out people to be the judges. It seems the writers & commenters here know more than the current judges.
Eric could be the body guard when they get snarky & have contestants try to smack them.
15 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:39 pm
Matt Scott Frankel??? Producing Chaka Khan??? Please!!!!!!!!!
16 Jebbica // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Hey guys! Sorry I’m late–food bag man. The first thing I see is some crazy guy with a mix CD or something? WTH? And what is J-Lo wearing on her head?
17 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Sheryl…LMAO. Yeah…we should be the judges.
18 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm
They are Beefin–LOL Big Stats
19 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm
And I thought I wasn’t going to have a good laugh today. Wow! Will he hear anyone that is Idol Material tonight? So far it’s a bust.
20 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm
That was supposed to be “will WE hear”…sorry.
21 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Lizaio is spot on about Matt Scott Frankel in her recap above.
Hi Jebbica…been wonderin’ about the J-Lo headgear. Maybe she had a bad hair day.
22 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:47 pm
That guy might have done better if his “street name” was Big E Stats….the E always makes things better. LOL!
23 Jebbica // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Well, they were good, I don’t know about “Godlike”….
24 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:50 pm
LOL, Sheryl!!!
Wow…the brothers can sing! Wow. Nice.
25 Jebbica // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Your next American. Right here. ME!
26 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Last night, the armadillo…tonight, the human tornado…can’t wait.
27 Jebbica // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:51 pm
“Oh sorry,” says James Brown wannabe. “I thought this was the green card office.”
28 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Jebbica, you are on it tonight!
29 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:54 pm
I see the Jebbica snark has been let out of the bag!
Glad Cait is taking a nap so, she will be in a cheery mood for the show.
30 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Does anyone but me think that this is the worst Idol auditions in the entire history of American Idol? LA is not looking so good.
31 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:55 pm
— how true
32 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Cooper Robinson from Ar-Kansas.. thanks for the closed caption
33 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Is this a “Pants on the Ground Wannbe”?
34 Sheryl // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:56 pm
When do they start the actual live show?
, I thought you would like that!
35 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:57 pm
…yes, thanks for the closed caption…I agree!
36 margie mcbride // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm
sorry that won’t no pants on the ground….that was sad, I think he needs o2
37 margie mcbride // Feb 3, 2011 at 9:58 pm
i think he got it, but what is the cure?
38 Melissa // Feb 3, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Well, now we know one more night of auditions, and one night of Hollywood next week.
39 Jebbica // Feb 3, 2011 at 10:01 pm
I never thought the Pants on the Ground guy might kill me in my sleep. Plus, did you see that guy? His pants were literally on the ground during some of those moves. The OG PotG would be disappointed. Actin’ like a FOO!
40 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Lizaio out!! Cait On..
41 Eric Gehler // Feb 3, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Jebb u get email
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