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It’s finally rock week, and the only contestants left are an acoustic beach singer, a contemporary Christian singer, a Broadway dude, and a rock chick. Hmm, I wonder who this week already belongs to?  With Slash as the mentor, 3 hardly sober judges, and duet performances by people who probably hate each other by now, do I smell trainwreck?  Let’s find out together, shall we?

Ryan begins the show by announcing that the Idols have not had a proper rehearsal tonight, due to one of the Idol towers collapsing on the stage.  Guys, you can relax; Kara is okay!  I know how worried you all were about that.

Ahh, Slash. Dunno what kind of mentor he’ll be, but his wife (?) kind of looks like Allison Iraheta all grown up.

Adam is first, looking extremely flamboyant tonight, singing “A Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zepplin.  It’s theatrical, and to quote an Idol Twitter addict, “Robert Plant + Stephen Tyler + MAC cosmetics = Ms. Adam”.  Exactly.   I think Kara and Adam went to the same 80s rummage sale…holy studded leather, Batman!  Randy said it was hot. Kara called him a rock God.  Paula said he was a ‘whole lotta perfect.’  Simon said it was one of his favorite performances by Glambert and no one will be able to top it.  (Rolling eyes at the obvious pushing they are doing to get him in the top spot!)

Allison is next, and now her hair is bright red and purple, because you know how subtle it was before.  She’s singing “Crybaby” by Janis Joplin.  Sounded pretty good to me.  Randy: “You can sing your face off, but I’m not loving the song choice.”  Kara disagreed, saying Janis is the right choice for her, but she should have sang “Piece of My Heart”.  Simon said he thought it was great, but it could have been a little more original.

Next up is our first duet, coming from Danny and Kris.  Really? I’d think if they were gonna put out two successful-sounding duets, they would have paired the male voices with the female voices. So, it would be Danny/Allison and Kris/Adam, or Danny/Adam and Kris/Allison.  Danny and Kris together? I don’t see it being more rockin’ than an Allison/Adam combo. Anywho, they’re singing “Renegade” by Styx.  I like this song, but Danny sounds off, and Kris doesn’t sound much better.  Randy thought they complimented each other greatly when they sang harmoniously.  Paula said it was powerful and compelling.  Simon said Danny was better than Kris.

Kris Allen picked The Beatles!  This is why I like him; he picks the best songs.  He’s singing “Come Together”, not the best choice for his voice probably, but he gets to use Slash’s guitar; how cool is that?!  Now, no one can remake a Beatles tune to me, but he’s not butchering it. It gets pretty good towards the end.  Randy said he liked the guitar work and thought it was pretty good considering he’s not really a hard rocker.  Kara said it wasn’t his best performance; Paula said he was an artist.  Simon said he didn’t like it that much, that it was like was like eating ice for lunch.  Then he went on and on about how great Adam was.  I swear, it’s like there’s some kind of spell that the  judges and 1/2 of America are under, and the more slobbering they do over Adam, the harder it is for me to like him!

Last and least is The Gokemeister, who is singing “Dream On” by Aerosmith, complete with screech at the end.  Why is he wearing Dad glasses tonight?  Wow, oh wow.  That was….terrible.  Seiously, there was nothing good about it.  He didn’t move around, he was all over the place, meh.  Randy said it was all right for him, but he gets an A+ for a valiant effort.  Kara said he took their advice a little too seriously.  Simon said the last note was like watching a horror movie.  EXACTLY.  Then he starts going back to how great Adam is again.  Seriously; are Adam and Simon dating?

Ugh, I had this whole paragraph written about the Adam/Allison duet, but for some reason, it auto-updated and disappeared. Dontcha hate when that happens? Anyway, they sang “Slow Ride” and the judges loved it. I originally had inserted some fake Adam praising here, but what they said wasn’t actually too different from my mocking. Simon said thanks to Adam, Allison will probably get to stay in the competition another week. Now tell me they don’t have it pegged who the winner is!

Agreements and disagreements are always welcome; who did the best and worst tonight? Share your thoughts! And catch me on my blog sometime.

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